Beauty Tips

Beauty is an essence. Looking beautiful means having one of the most comforts of life. Looking beautiful means get noticed. And who don't' want to be noticed. The word 'beauty' has a number of synonyms, cute, smart, gorgeous, handsome, and good looking sexy, stylish and after all beautiful.

When we use word beauty or beautiful, it clearly indicates our inclination towards something or object which we like the most. Nature is most beautiful object we have in which we exist in general. The word beautiful is a feminine word. When we listen the word beauty or beautiful, we assume a pretty, cool, charming and good-looking face. Boys or men don't need to be beautiful rather they need to be handsome.

No matter either you are a cool pretty girl / woman or a handsome boy / man; you must need to be smart, intelligent, and diligent. Your smartness, intelligence and diligence all reflect in your personality. And your personality depends on the fact that how you carry yourself and how you associate with the objects or persons around you. Your personality is the integration of your body, mind and soul. Rather you are a big-hearted person having a high degree of IQ. And the amalgamation of beauty with your mind and soul make you a being of get noticed. And who don't want that.

A well groomed child get noticed in his or her prep class, a handsome is get noticed in playgrounds, a sexy lace is get noticed some time on the streets and some time on the discos. A smart and bold person is get noticed in the society. A smart / beautiful manager is get noticed in board meetings.

It means beauty has its place everywhere, it makes its' place, it exists. It exists in every being. Some time it didn't look even though it is there. This is because the person is not taking care of his / her body i.e. skin, nails, eyes, hair, etc.

Taking care of your body means taking care of your self and for that you don't need to put extra effort, you don't need to put extra hour of your work schedule. Only you need to put is the minimum required attention. You need to regulate your life style, you need to discover the ways of living, and you need to monitor yourself with proper care.

How do you do that?

Here are few tips that make you a noticeable personality in the crowd and your body healthy, sexy and overall beautiful.
1. Drink 8 to 12 glasses of water everyday, having more water means feeling less hungry, consuming less food and hence being fit in shape and always looks energetic.
2. You can drink water in a regular interval of half an hour or so, while in office or traveling long, keep you water bottle with you.
3. Take balanced diet rich in carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and good fats.
4. Cut on calories; don't take food that gives high calories and fewer nutrients.
5. Nutrients are necessary to keep you away from sickness and thus helps in being beautiful
6. Take some beet root, cut into small pieces and grind. Squeeze it and massage your face for 5 minutes with beetroot juice. Wash / shower after 10 minutes with mild soap or gram flour. You will feel relaxed and your face will glow.
7. Mix honey in water, and drink it daily in the morning. This will keep your skin shiney and smooth.
8. Massage your body with milk. Moisturizer in the milk will keep your skin smooth and healthy.
9. Keep room temperature moderate, using humidifiers. This will keep you skin away from dryness.
10. If you take shower too long or a bit long, the dead skin of your body automatically gets removed. Don't rub your body with towel. Be gentle on your skin.
11. If you go out in the sun, your skins will loss its fairness. Take cucumber juice and tomato juice and apply it to your skin, shower after 10 minutes. This will make your skin fair.
12. Take rose petals, and grind them. Mix with cream on the top of milk. Shower after 10 minutes.

So take a little care of your body and stay healthy, handsome, beautiful, smart, and bold.
Get noticed!!!

Tania is the writer of www.ultimate-cosmetics.com
Tania Jain writes on ultimate cosmetics.com, Learn more on beauty tips.

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Almonds Help with Weight Loss

Did you know that aside from providing good mono-unsaturated fats, almonds may help you shed those unwanted pounds?� A few years back, researchers actually found that people eating a diet rich in almonds lost more weight than those on a high-carb diet with the same number of calories, which goes against the traditional belief that weight loss is all about calories in versus calories burned.� Researchers followed 65 overweight and obese adults, 70% of whom had type 2 diabetes, for 24 weeks. One group ate a 1,000 calorie/day liquid diet supplemented with 3 oz of almonds (384 additional calories) and the other group ate the same liquid diet but instead supplemented with a mix of complex carbohydrates (such as wheat crackers, baked potatoes, or air-popped popcorn). The two diets were equal in calories and protein but differed in fat and in addition to the liquid diet, they could also have salads with lemon juice or vinegar dressing. The almond diet contained 39% total fat including 25% from heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, while the non-almond diet contained 18% total fat, 5% from monounsaturated fats. Participants in the almond diet saw an 18% reduction in weight and body mass index (BMI) compared with an 11% reduction in the non-almond dieters. Additionally, waist circumference, systolic blood pressure, and need for diabetes medication more so than the non-almond dieters. In terms of diabetic patients, since a side effect of some diabetes medication is increased hunger, the faster one can get off of medications, the better, so to stay slimmer.� But for everyone else looking to lose weight, these results are very important!� So what�s the mechanism behind all this almond based weight loss, you ask?� Well, the researchers speculate that the fat in almonds may not be completely absorbed and earlier research suggests that the cell walls of almonds can act as a physical barrier to fat, and they also may make you feel fuller, longer, something I can vouch for myself.� So go out and grab some almonds�turns out these yummy nuts are no longer diet-taboo! Looking to lose weight?� Seeking to improve your nutrition?� Visit onemorediet.com for a whole bunch of healthy dieting and nutrition tips. To find other free health content see e-healtharticles.com

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5 Common Running Mistakes

Running should be an enjoyable and stress-free activity. Many runners experience pain and discomfort because of wrong gear, form, and hydration.  Read about the most common mistakes made by runners and how to fix them! 

Shoes
Many runners have a favorite pair of running shoes they don�t want to give up. That comfortable, broken-in pair of shoes can be hard to give up.  Running shoes need to be discarded (for running purposes) every 300-400 miles, depending on weight and where you run.  Heavier runners (over 160 pounds) should change earlier than lighter runners, and outside/trail runners should change shoes at an earlier mileage than treadmill runners.

Also, make sure that you are wearing shoes that fit properly.  Some runners have specific wear or strike patterns that can cause pain.  However, these problems can be easily addressed by ensuring your shoes are the right fit.  Learn how to purchase the proper athletic shoes here. Changing and wearing the correct running shoes is essential to avoiding the most common running injuries such as knee, hip and other joint problems.

Happy Feet
There�s no doubt that races are exciting and exhilarating experiences.  Almost all runners have a story about starting a race at a faster pace because of the excitement and anticipation.  Inevitably, they hit a wall somewhere along the way and are zapped of their energy. The best way to prevent a runner�s crash is to be aware of your pace before the race starts and start slower than usual.  This way, by the middle of the race, you will have plenty of energy to finish off strong.  Also, it's best to start off in the middle or back of the corral.  This way you aren't tempted to keep up with speed demons.

Overstriding
Overstriding is when runners land on their heel, with the entire foot ahead of the body's center of gravity.  This type of stride seems to be a good way to increase speed, but in reality, it slows you down.  Overstriding wastes precious energy since with each foot strike, there is a braking motion.  It is also one of the leading causes of running injuries
.

The best way to correct this problem is to pay close attention to your running form until the motion becomes natural.  Try not to lunge

forward with your feet, especially when running downhill.  Keep a short, slow arm swing to help keep your stride short and close to the ground.

Hydration
Many runners don't realize how much fluid they lose during a run and don't drink enough fluid.  Some choose not to drink because they worry about getting cramps.  Getting side cramps from drinking water is a myth.  Cramps can be prevented by deep mouth breathing and warming up properly. 

It is important to drink before, during and after exercise. An hour before exercising, try to drink between 16-24 ounces of water or a sports drink.  During a run, the general rule is to drink 6-8 ounces of fluid every 20 minutes.  If you workout more than 90 minutes, you should supplement your water with a sports drink.  After a run, rehydrate with 20-24 ounces of water for every pound lost.

Overtraining
Runners who are focused on training for a race or a personal goal are often extremely dedicated to the challenge, maybe even a little too much. The thought process tends to be: more miles = better performance.  In fact, this is not true!  Taking the time to recover is one of the most important parts of improving speed and efficiency. 

Running everyday or running too many miles causes burnout and injury.  If you are building up to a longer race, build your mileage incrementally.  Don't increase your weekly mileage by more than 10% to reduce your chances of overuse injuries. After a harder run, take a day off to allow your muscles to recuperate.  Every 4th week, drop your weekly mileage by 50% (rest week) so that you don't burnout. Schedule days off from running just as you would schedule a run. A. Evans is a writer and editor for http://www.fitandfabliving.com. Sign up for free newsletters to receive all the latest health, beauty and fitness tips delivered straight to your inbox!

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11 Tips to Boost Your Metabolism

Boosting ones metabolism is something many people try to achieve everyday. Having a high metabolic rate increases the amount of calories, or energy, the body burns on a daily basis. Without optimal metabolism the body will store excess calories as fat for future use. The problem for many people is they don�t ever use these excess calories and as a result struggle with weight issues.

There are many factors that affect a person�s metabolism including age, weight, hormonal changes, lean muscle mass, diet, genetics, stress and the amount of physical activity undertaken on a daily basis. As you can see boosting your metabolism involves many factors, but the fact of the matter is that it is relatively easy to boost your metabolism if you are committed to doing so.

Here are 11 tips to help you boost your metabolism:

1. Build lean body mass. As we age our bodies metabolism or ability to burn calories decreases. One way to offset this problem is by exercising. Lean muscle burns calories and the more you have the more calories you burn, even while resting. You can build muscle through resistance or weight training at least twice a week. You can also boost your metabolism by doing cardio exercises. You can choose to do this between or in conjunction with weight training. Simply going for a walk or using the stairs instead of the elevator are good ways to get in an aerobic workout.

2. Eat Breakfast. Many people ignore eating breakfast. What they don�t realize is that it�s the most important meal of the day. Breakfast gives your metabolism a boost and provides a consistent energy supply throughout the day. The majority of people who eat a healthy breakfast have fewer weight and health issues than those who don�t.

3. Sugar is bad. Processed and refined sugar such as found in sweets and soft drinks overload the body with sugar causing many serious health issues including obesity and diabetes. Complex carbohydrates are a better energy source because they supply an even level of blood sugar. The human body just isn�t built to deal with the large amounts of refined sugar most people include in their diet.

4. Spicy foods that make you sweat can help boost your metabolism.

5. Get a good night�s sleep. There is research that shows that people who do not get sufficient sleep tend to gain weight. This may be because the body uses sleep to heal and regenerate itself, including its muscular system.

6. Drink more water. Water is the lubricant of the body. It also flushes toxins out of the body and keeps the kidneys operating at maximum efficiency. This allows the liver more time to do what it does best, metabolize fat stores.

7. Eat small meals. Eat 5 to 6 small meals per day spaced 20 to 3 hours apart. This gives the body a steady supply of energy and prevents binge eating.

8. Don�t miss meals. Skipping meals in order to loose weight is counter productive because it actually slow metabolism and can lead to over eating.

9. Plan your meals. If you have a daily or weekly menu you are much more likely to stick to your plan.

10. Drink green tea. Green tea has been shown to boost metabolism and unlike coffee does not stress the body with caffeine.

11. Include more high energy foods in your diet including fruits, vegetables and whole grains. These provide a more balanced energy source and will not cause blood sugar spikes.

Boosting your metabolism can be done if you are dedicated to doing it. This does not mean you need to stress over each little thing but if you eat right and exercise you should see a decrease in body fat and a much more energetic and happy you.
For more tips to boost your metabolism and for more information about metabolism please click here.

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Fitness

Fitness is defined as a state of being healthy, which prepares the body for the physical necessities of daily life. To be more precise, fitness provides strength, flexibility and stamina for the proper functioning of the body. It is a total solution for a perfect, fine-tuned life. The five main components of fitness are aerobic endurance, muscular strength, muscular endurance, and flexibility and body composition. The right kind of physical and mental exercises and proper intake of nutritious food are the factors that contribute to fitness. A well-balanced diet not only makes one fit, but provides all necessary nutrients for the body. Mental fitness, essential for the psychological well-being of a person, is also a key factor in sustaining a healthy state.

Fitness lowers the risks of various health issues such as obesity, cardio-vascular problems, habitual inactivity and depression. It helps to prevent age-related problems. Moreover, fitness makes one feel relaxed and active throughout the day.

To stay physically fit doesn't entail spending hours in a gym or on costly fitness to develop muscle mass like body builders. All you need to do is improve power and endurance and get mobile. Nowadays, immobility has become part of a lifestyle, with people spending more time in front of the computer. So the need for exercise is a must.

A systematic workout of small exercises such as brisk walking, cycling, jogging and swimming can energize the body. An overdose of exercise might injure the body. So it is vital to find an enjoyable schedule of activity. The fitness methods adopted must be person-specific. It varies for men, women, children and the aged. Individuals have to choose exercises that are ideal for their body. Fitness methods include meditation, yoga sessions, aerobic classes and muscular fitness exercises.

Today, more and more people are struggling to keep their body and mind fit. This has resulted in the growth of a range of sophisticated multi-gyms, professional fitness institutions and clubs. Health and fitness magazines and publications are also available, and fitness tips and training programs are available via the Internet.
Fitness Equipment provides detailed information on Fitness, Fitness Equipment, Fitness Tips, Physical Fitness and more. Fitness Equipment is affiliated with Exercise Programs.
Editor's Choice Award:
Editor's info: Terry Kent - Editor, HealthCrazed.com:
The healthcrazed place for healthyminded people!
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5 Ways Poor Posture Can Limit Height Growth

Many posture problems exist that people pick up over the years and may not even realize they have. These could lead to pain, especially back pain, and as far as height is concerned, can make us not only physically shorter, but appear shorter as well. Some of the most common posture problems are looked at below.

1. Walking posture - This is an easy one to get into bad habits with, probably the one which is the hardest to break, and also the one which is discussed the least of the three major ones, the other two of which are looked at next. It's often assumed that proper sitting posture and to a lesser extent, sleeping posture, can be taught, while walking is just something we naturally do, and cannot be changed or critiqued. Poor walking posture is quite common for this reason.

Breaking this habit can be difficult, and will take a concerted effort to break. The subject should practice walking with their shoulders tensed and forcibly held back, head held high, making a mental note of where their eye level is. Getting in the practice of doing this should make it easier to recognize when they're walking improperly, at which point they can consciously correct it until it becomes second nature and replaces the old, bad habit.

2. Sitting Posture - These posture issues are also very common, and as more and more people sit behind a computer for a living, their possible consequences and reach grows. The computer monitor, keyboard and chair should all be set in positions that all but force the user to sit in an upright position. LCD monitors are good for this, as they force a consistent eye level be maintained to get a good view of the screen. Any slouching and the user should know it immediately.

3. Sleeping Posture - The one people would generally be the least aware of, and also the one that would seemingly be the most difficult to break, though this isn't the case. By properly utilizing pillows, by removing them when sleeping on one's back and by sticking them between the legs when sleeping on the side, bad sleeping posture can be limited with little effort.

4. Bow Legs and Knock Knees - These conditions develop early, and are not as easily cured. A doctor visit will probably be necessary, at which point special insoles or footwear that can help break the problem will probably be prescribed.

5. Scoliosis - This is a serious condition, in which the spine is severely curved, resulting in a drastic loss of height, as well as other health ailments. In mild cases, Scoliosis can be corrected with the proper stretching exercises. In extreme cases, surgery may be needed to correct it.

Improved posture can not only result in increased height, it can improve our health in other areas, and proper posture also makes you appear more professional to others. Snap out of your bad habits today, and kick them to the curb.


For more information on proper posture and stretching exercises to increase height, pay a visit to Rodney Williams� website on Growing Taller Secrets And Tips.

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6 Things You Can Do To Get A Better Night Sleep Tonight

Let's face it-we live in a "go-go" world! Our lifestyle is harried, our food is fast and statistics now show it's taking a toll on one of the most important parts of our life--our sleep. The 2002 National Sleep Foundation (NSF) Sleep in America poll found that 74 percent of American adults are experiencing a sleeping problem a few nights a week or more, 39% get less than seven hours of sleep each weeknight, and more than one in three (37%) are so sleepy during the day that it interferes with daily activities. Our fast paced way of life is getting the best of us. What about you?

Answer True or False?

1. Five hours of sleep at night is good enough.
2. It's ok to skimp on sleep during the work week as long as you make up the time over the weekends.
3. The effects of sleep deprivation are short-term (e.g., darkness under the eyes and dull and/or splotchy skin after a bad night's sleep) and has no effect on long-term health.
4. Drinking caffeine early in the evening does not affect sleep.
5. Keeping a TV or computer in the bedroom has no effect on sleep.
6. The amount of sleep I get has nothing to do with my weight.

If you answered "true" to two or more questions you may need to make a few changes in order to achieve the highly coveted "goodnight's" sleep and keep yourself in optimal health.

Experts suggest that most people need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night but that doesn't apply to everyone. Some people only require 6 hours while those who are more active or have an illness may require more.

So how do you know if you are getting enough quality sleep? Those who are sleep deprived often look the part. Dark circles and the "sleepy" look are common, but they also can have unpredictable moods, drowsiness during the day, have difficulty concentrating, weak immune systems, recover poorly from injury and get sick more often. Sounding a little too familiar?

In fact, poor sleep has been found to impair the ability to perform tasks involving memory, learning, and logical reasoning. This may contribute to mistakes or unfulfilled potential at school or on the job as well as strained relationships at home. Even more disturbing, inadequate amounts of sleep have been linked to an increased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, weight gain, obesity, heart disease and depression, to name just a few.

But what if you go to bed early, have every intention on logging in your 7-9 hours but only to lie awake watching the clock...eyes wide open? Well, there are several simple adjustments you can make to stack the cards in favor of a better night's sleep.

1) Avoid watching TV before bed...especially in bed!- The bed should be reserved for two things...sleep and romance...not Desperate Housewives or football! Research shows that those who experienced the most sleep disturbances had televisions in their bedrooms and used the TV to fall asleep.

2) Try a different pillow or mattress. It's scary to think how long some of us have been sleeping on the same pillows and mattresses for years and years. Does your mattress provide the support you like? Do you wake with your back aching? Is there enough room for you and your sleep partner? Do you sleep better, or worse, when you sleep away from home? These are all things to ask yourself to determine if your mattress could be the "sabotager" of your good night's sleep. Or more simply, just replacing your pillow with a new, fresh, higher quality version could be all that you need.

3) Avoid caffeine late in the day. Did you know that even a small amount of caffeine even 10-12 hours before bedtime can cause problems falling asleep! Try eliminating the tea, soda and even chocolate and see if sleep improves.

4) Listen to relaxing music. Establishing a relaxing bedtime routine, such as listening to music, could be just the thing you need to signal your body it is time to sleep. So, dim the lights and throw some slow jazz or purchase a "relaxing sounds" CD to help slow your mind and body down for an evening of peaceful sleep.

5) Try mind- body techniques. After an action-packed day, your brain and body need to unwind and detox before sleep can occur (a.k.a. you need to chill!) Create a "ritual" for bedtime - take a bath, meditate, do some easy stretches or yoga. Try to do your "ritual" in the same way, in the same place, at the same time each night. The repetition will trigger your mind and body that it is time to relax and sleep.

6) Try a natural sleep aid. For many people, while the above tips and suggestions may help, it often isn't enough. if you are one of those people who really have a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep, you may want to try a natural sleep aid.

While over the counter sleep medications may help you fall asleep, they cannot be taken long-term and have risky side effects. A sleep aid that uses natural ingredients is a better approach to getting a solid night's sleep.

Article courtesy of fitness expert and best-selling author, Jesse Cannone, CFT. For more great health and fitness articles be sure to visit his website - http://www.losethebackpain.com/sleep.html

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Do Antioxidant Supplements Help Women?

It seems that everyone is jumping on the antioxidant bandwagon and why not? New research is coming out all the time that seems to indicate antioxidants can prevent cancer, strengthen your immune system and even keep you from aging. Antioxidants work by sucking up free radicals that can damage your body's cells and transporting them to the liver where eventually they exit the body.

Heart Disease in particular has been the subject of recent studies. Researchers in Italy examined three hundred and seven middle aged women for Atherosclerosis. This is the formation of plaques and lesions in the coronary arteries, which can signal the development of cardiovascular disease years before a doctor diagnosis's it. These women did not take vitamin supplements containing vitamins A, C or E. The researchers took blood samples to measure the women's baseline level of various antioxidants, took questionnaires and performed ultrasound examinations of their carotid arteries and branches of the heart. They found that women who had plaques building in their arteries had a low intake of vitamin E. Women with the lowest baseline concentrations of Vitamin E in their blood were twice as likely to have plaque build up in their carotid arteries and branches of the heart.

In a side note some promising research has come up relating to breast cancer in women. Researchers gave thirty-two women between the ages of thirty-two and eighty-one with metastasized breast cancer a multivitamin supplement. It contained vitamin C, E, Beta Carotene, selenium, coenzyme Q10 and other vitamins and minerals daily for eighteen months. None of the patients died during this period, which is wonderful because without supplements it could be expected that at least four of the volunteers would have died. Also the cancer in each of the patients appeared to stop spreading. Six of the patients showed partial remission. One of the six patients in partial remission had her dosage of coenzyme Q10 increased to 390mg daily and within two months her tumor could no longer be seen on a mammogram.

Antioxidants are beneficial but they seem to be able to do only do so much. In a French study publicized in 2004 it was found that antioxidants tended to benefit men more than women. The Institut National de la Sante et de la Recherche Medicale and Unite de Surveillance et d'Epidemiologie Nutritionnelle studied the effects of taking supplements in more than thirteen thousand men and women for seven and a half years. The participants were divided into groups, each one taking a different antioxidant daily. The antioxidants were ascorbic acid, Vitamin E, Beta Carotene, Selenium, Zinc and a placebo. At the end of the study they found that the men who took antioxidants were thirty-one percent less likely to develop cancer than women. Some of us women may be automatically thinking what a sexist finding! While it is possible that antioxidants are simply more effective in men it's not probable. It is more likely that the men had a lower baseline of antioxidants in their bloodstream than women, in other words women may have a better diet than men with lots of antioxidants and their baselines were already high. So the antioxidants that men took simply brought the men's baseline up and the antioxidants that women took may have been superfluous.

As a result of this study the researchers suggested that you are able to get a high and beneficial level of antioxidants in your blood with a diet containing lots of fruits and veggies.


Visit http://www.stanley-home-products.com
Author Vincent Platania represents the Stanley Home Products. Stanley Home Products has been in business since 1936, and offers high quality home and personal care products to keep your home and your body clean. Visit http://www.stanley-home-products-products.com

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5 Steps to Optimal Health

The first step a program is Healthy Nutrition and there are ten basic rules:

1. Never skip a meal again (keep the calorie burning furnace burning)
2. Eat real, unprocessed foods (if man made it do not eat it)
3. Eat balanced meals (protein, fat, and carbs in every meal)
4. Choose a protein as the main nutrient in your meal
5. Add some healthy fats (avocado, nuts, seeds, cold water fish, and olive oil)
6. Add real carbohydrates (whole grains)
7. Add non-starchy vegetables (green and brightly coloured)
8. Eat snacks (keep the calorie burning furnace burning)
9. Eat solid food (fiber)
10.Drink enough water(body weight x .7 = no. of ounces to drink)

The second step of the program is Stress Management:

1. Make downtime a daily practice (you are important)
2. Put your life in perspective (don’t sweat the small stuff)
3. Keep track of stress signals (heart rate increase, blood pressure, anxiety, yelling)
4. Get enough sleep (6-8hours)

Third, avoid all toxic chemicals including:

1. Nicotine
2. Alcohol
3. Refined sugar
4. Artificial sweeteners
5. Illegal drugs
6. MSG, additives & preservatives
7. Fake fats and fat blockers
8. Caffeine
9. Certain prescription drugs


Fourth, practice cardio, resistance and flexibility/relaxing exercises. www.phoenixfitness.ca , www.foru.ca, www.phoenixonlinept.com

And finally, the fifth step to optimal health is taking hormone replacement therapy as needed. ( Please Consult your Physician before beginning any such program)

Thank you for Reading.
Murray is a 17 year Health and Fitness Professional. As owner of Phoenix Fitness and YOU it's about time! 30 minute fitness solution, he has helped thousands of people achieve their health and fitness goals. If you too would like to benefit from Murray's knowledge and experience you can visit http://www.phoenixfitness.ca or http://www.phoenixonlinept.com

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Anti-Bullying Skills and Techniques for Children

Bullying is a big problem in our schools today. However, bullying has always been a problem. The main differences between bullying today from the past are the nature of the bullying and the violence that occurs in the aftermath. Cyberbullying is becoming a popular and more destructive form of bullying than traditional bullying. More children today are bringing guns to school to seek revenge on others. Bullying has been around and will probably remain for years to come. Not only was I bullied as a child, but I continue to get bullied today as an adult. I do not believe that we have the power to rid the world of bullying. I believe the answer to the issue of bullying rests with all of us, especially the victims of bullying. I am not suggesting that victims of bullying are responsible for bullying. On the contrary, what I am suggesting is that victims of bullying have the power in themselves to think, behave, and react in ways that limits or eradicates bullying. As a society, we spend too much of our energy identifying and punishing the bully that we fail to spend enough time empowering the victims of bullying. We should spend more of our energy on the things that we can control rather than the things we have limited or no control over. We need to teach children about the power that they already possess. Let me elaborate on a few issues that parents should teach their children regarding the issue of bullying.
Let's first talk about the characteristics of bullying. Typically, bullies and their victims share the same characteristic - low self-esteem. It just depends on whether they internalize or externalize their feelings that will determine if they will become a bully or a victim of bullying. Typically, negative situations and events in the child's life can trigger low self-esteem. Externalizing feelings can cause some children to become bullies as they attempt to control their environment to compensate for their lack of control in their family. For instance, if a child's parents are divorcing and the child is very upset about the divorce, he or she might feel powerless in their ability to keep their parents together. As a result, the child might take out his or her rage on others for purposes of seeking control to compensate for his or her lack of control over their parents' impending divorce.
Given the same scenario (parental divorce), some children internalize their feelings by not talking or acting out how they feel. Instead, they become depressed and withdrawn feeling like a failure. Often, they develop a negative image of themselves and their physical appearance. They look at others and the world around them with shaded lens. When a bully validates this child's feelings about themselves, this child often reacts negatively to the validation because he or she feels the bully is correct in their interpretation.
Often times, children with high self-esteem do not respond negatively to bullies because they already know that whatever the bully says negatively about them is untrue and therefore they do not feel the need to defend themselves against the foolishness of others.
As human beings, our behavior, thoughts, and feelings are never dictated or controlled by others, situations, and events unless we allow this to occur. Simply said, others, situations, and events can trigger a reaction based on what we are thinking. In other words, if I really didn't want to go to work today and my car has a flat tire, I might experience happiness because I didn't want to go to work. On the other hand given the same event (flat tire), I might want to go to work today to take care of some undone business. Because the flat tire might delay or eliminate my chances of getting to work, this situation might cause me anger. How could the same event in both situations cause two different feelings? It wasn't the event at all that triggered the feelings. It was what I was thinking about the event that triggered my feelings. Therefore, manipulating the way we think can alter how we feel. We all have the ability to take ownership and control over our thoughts. We however have limited or no control over specific events, situations, and the behavior of others. Sometimes, we attempt to control events, situations, and others but become frustrated when our attempts fail.
Now, how does the paragraph above apply to the issue of bullying? The main goal of bullies is to attempt to get their victims to experience fear, anger, or sadness. Once their victim demonstrates signs of these emotions via the words he or she uses and/or their body language, the bully has complete and total control over them. The bully will continue to bully their victim until the victim no longer verbally and/or physically displays fear, anger, or sadness in response to the bullying. The bullying will end once the victim responds the opposite of what the bully expects.
How do we get children to react the opposite of what the bully expects? This is where role-playing comes in handy. Parents should regularly sit down with their children helping them learn to react the opposite of what bullies expect. Often times, this task is much easier when the parent knows what hurtful words or phrases bullies say that makes their children feel fearful, angry, or sad. Using these hurtful words and/or phrases in role-plays will emotionally prepare children when they are approached by bullies.
It is also important to teach children that they have the power to change or affect the agenda of bullies by the words they use. For instance, if a bully calls a child 'stupid', the child could defuse the bullying by stating to the bully, “That's nice”, “How about that”, “Oh, well”, and so forth. The worst thing that the child could do is respond by telling the bully that he or she is stupid or make any other negative statement. A negative response will only inflame the situation encouraging further bullying.
In addition, parents should teach and role-play with their children specified forms of body language that reflects a child with high self-esteem from a child with low self-esteem. Body language communicates feelings more so than spoken words. If a child yells at a bully that he or she is not bothered by their behavior, the bully knows that the child is bothered because of the yelling. Lack of eye contact, looking down, slouched posture, lack of hygiene, and low tone of voice can be viewed as symptoms of low self-esteem.
Parents need to teach their children that bullies rarely get angry with them. Bullies are typically angry at themselves and/or events that are or have occurred in their own life for which they have limited or no control. Bullies indirectly take out their anger on the ones they could easily control.
Parents should never teach their children to physically fight back when approached by a bully. The problem with fighting back is that children will get themselves into trouble for engaging in physically assaultive behavior. Think of it this way - bullies rarely ever throw the first punch. They always entice their victim into throwing the first punch. This way, when they are asked who started the fight, the bully could easily and truthfully state that their victim started it. In addition, there are significant legal ramifications that can arise as a result of physically assaultive behavior.
It is important to remember that physical violence typically occurs after a negative verbal interaction. Violence typically is provoked and rarely unprovoked. Therefore to avoid violence, the conflict can and should be defused during the verbal exchange. This is why the words victims say and their body language are so significant and detrimental to the outcome of bullying. Recent school shootings suggest that the shooters were bullied by their classmates. The bullying subsequently provoked the school violence.
Parents should be cautious when teaching their children to ignore bullies. The problem with ignoring is that the bully knows that their behavior is irritating, annoying, and controlling their victim. Therefore, the bullying will continue.
Parents should be cautious when teaching their children to constantly report bullying to an adult. Parents should encourage their children to first attempt to resolve the bullying on their own with the skills taught above. If their children are unsuccessful resolving these issues on their own, they should be encouraged to report the bullying. If their children automatically report the bullying without attempting to defuse the situation on their own, they will be perceived and labeled as a tattle-tale which will encourage more bullying.
Parents need to teach their children the correct definition of the word 'tattling'. Some children feel that reporting misbehavior to adults is considered tattling. Parents need to teach their children that reporting on others just to see them get into trouble is considered tattling. A child that reports to his or her parents that their brother is picking his nose is tattling. Children always need to report to an adult if they were physically, sexually, or verbally harmed by others or if they witnessed others engaging in destructive or illegal behaviors.
It is very easy to feel sorry and sympathy toward victims of bullying. However, it would be more helpful to the victim if we are more empathic to their needs by empowering them to diffuse bullying on their own. As a result, their ability to defuse the bullying would ultimately raise their level of self-esteem and self-worth.
If you would like additional tips and suggestions regarding bullying prevention skills or if you would like to attend an online educational seminar, please feel free to log onto the Building Strong Families National Seminar's website.
As a Motivational Speaker, Mr. Lakewood facilitates seminars on family-related issues. Graduating with a Master's degree in Social Work, Mr. Lakewood authored his first parenting DVD series entitled "The Sudden Compliance" program designed to help children significantly and swiftly improve their behavior at home, school, and within the community. He also authored the "Standing Up To Bullying" bullying prevention program designed to reduce bullying within schools, homes, and the community.

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Children's Health: 5 Ways Parents Can Help Children Lead Healthier Lifestyles

Believe it or not, you impart a legacy of health to your children that goes well beyond the genes you give them. You also pass along health beliefs and model health-related choices.

Here are 5 tips that will set your kids up on a path towards a healthy life.

1. Instill a sense of wonder about the body.

Many adults fear and distrust their bodies. They believe that the body is fragile, and illness is just around the corner. The myth that you will catch a cold if you go outside without a coat persists. Your kids are listening when you look in the mirror and say to no one in particular, “I’m so fat.”

The truth is your body is the most miraculous mechanical system on the planet. Cuts heal without a single thought or action on your part. Your immune system is your own personal homeland security system, protecting you from bacterial and viral terrorists. Yes, illness is part of the human condition. And we have powerful treatments that add to your body’s own ability to heal. Look at your body’s ability to battle illnesses, such as the common cold. This alone offers concrete evidence of your body’s resiliency.

Comment on your child’s amazing body. “Wow, that cut healed in no time!” or “You have such strong fast legs” or “Look at what your hands have been able to draw.” Remind your child how great it is to have eyes and kidneys and hearts that work so well.

2. Become a student of the human body with your child.

Your kids will come to you with questions about how their bodies work. It can be uncomfortable for both you and your child when you don’t have the answers. This discomfort can teach children that they should avoid questions about how their bodies work, which may, in part, explain why parents themselves are reluctant to ask doctors embarrassing questions.

Remember, no one has all the answers. That’s why your doctor participates in continuing medical education. Your child can remind you of the joy of discovery. Together you can look for answers. I mentioned to my son that bones make blood and he asked, “What about creatures with exoskeletons?” I said, “What an interesting question. Let’s get on the Internet and see what we can find out.” Have a child-appropriate book about the body available and learn and use anatomically correct words. Maybe you can have a family contest to come up with the coolest medical term.

3. Teach your kids to listen to their bodies.

Often it feels as if adults are rewarded for ignoring or overcoming the signals from their bodies. The “hero” who comes to work with the flu or the mom who ignores her need for food or sleep. Health is maintained when you know the signals that suggest your body is out of balance and respond in a timely manner when your body indicates it needs something.

Help your kids identify when they’re cold or hungry or tired. You can say even to an infant, “You look hot, so I’m taking off the blanket.” Give your child some experience regulating his external environment like taking on and off sweaters. Educate your children that pain is there to keep them safe. Say, “Owies are no fun, but they’re there to keep you from burning yourself on the stove or cutting yourself with a knife. That’s how your body reminds you to be careful.”

4. Model healthy eating habits.

Childhood obesity is a growing problem. Talk with your kids about good food choices and bad ones. Encourage them to ask themselves, “What kind of food is my body hungry for right now?’ and “Am I full?” even if there’s still food on the plate. Pay attention to see if your child is a “grazer” or a 3-squares-a-day kid and set an eating schedule that reflects their style. Decide whether it’s OK to indulge in unhealthy food choices now and then. When I inquired about the nutritional value of my son’s snack of donuts, he said, “It’s health food for the soul!”

5. Reward health rather than illness.

Some of my best childhood memories come from times when I was sick. In an effort to ease my pain, my mother unwittingly rewarded illness by lavishing attention on me, delivering endless bowls of ice cream and playing games with me. Who wouldn’t want to be sick!

Instead, lavish attention on your kids when they’re well. While you don’t want to punish your kids for being sick, consider which privileges of health should be withdrawn during sick days.

When you instill in your children a sense of pride, wonder and respect for their bodies, you have given them the foundation of health.


Have you ever left your doctor's office with unanswered questions? Been embarrassed to talk with your doctor about a health issue concerning your child? If so, you're not alone. Vicki Rackner MD is a board-certified surgeon who helps people get the health care they want, need and deserve. Sign up for Dr. Vicki's free monthly newsletter at www.DrVicki.org and get tips that will put you incharge of your child’s health care.

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